Wee11 - September 23, 2019 “This Is Home”

This week I decided that I am home! I love where I come from but I decided I can't miss home because the Cote D'Ivoire is home. I feel like as I have tried to motivate myself into this mindset of accepting this place, it has been so much easier. Another mindset change has been I recognize the fact that I am happy! I've noticed this week that I have been able to smile more. I know I cant speak the language fluently but smiling is something that I can do, so I try to just smile as much as I can. I hope that people can see a light and that they are attracted to it.
A super cool miracle happened to me this week. So my MP3 player broke and I tried to fix it but it was legit broken. Nothing worked. One morning I just got up and was thought, ok I'm gonna go pray that my Mp3 player will work. So I did just that. I grabbed my Mp3 player and grabbed the charger which was connected to the wall. As I said my prayer I really felt myself exercising faith and I knew it was going to work again. When I said "amen," I kid you not the charger fell out of the wall. IT FELL OUT OF THE WALL. As I plugged the charger back in and then plugged my Mp3 player to the charger ,it lit up!! I wanted to pass out. I thought, "you have got to be kidding me." I just thanked the Lord for that blessing. I'm telling you that faith is real and I've come to the realization that it is one of ,if not the most powerful tools we have. Sometimes we teach people and I just want to hand them faith but it doesn't work that way. It's an individual decision each of us has to choose to act on.
Another blessing this week was I was able to eat cow skin without throwing up. This super nice family of 3 that is set to be baptized in 2 weeks had us over to eat and made something like fufu with stew and cow skin. It is what I had in the MTC in Ghana. I kid you not, it was like chewing on rubber and it tasted awful. I'm sorry its gross but I just don't have another way to describe it. I had to force myself to stay in my seat and not go throw up and somehow I was able to just get it down.
As for the language, its coming along. I can teach the Plan of Salvation and The Gospel of Jesus Christ which is awesome! I'm working on my comprehension still and street conversations. Its hard but I am making improvements.
The work here is good. When I'm out in sector that's when I'm happiest. I love serving! I wish I could express myself fully but I love serving the people. They are so interesting and everyone has their own need and its fun to feel like I have a purpose. Teaching is still scary but as I open my mouth it is filled. It is truly a miracle and a blessing that I witness multiple times every day. This past week went by so fast and it almost feels like a complete blur but as I look back on it I am able to pick out blessings from each day. Sometimes when I'm just sitting in my room alone, I just cry because I feel so much love for my Savior. I've come to know that he knows me, he knows you and that when we need him he is there. It's up to us though whether or not we have faith to believe that he is there and if we will be open to him.
I love p-day because I open up my email and it's filled with inspirational scriptures and messages. I cant help but cry from the love I feel. It's actually funny because my companion is always saying things like "Dude, you cry too much." But its ok, they are tears of Joy... most the time hahahaha. No, but really thank you all so much. I know your prayers are blessing me so much. This week was much better than last and I know that's because of you guys helping me out.
I love you all,
Elder Freedman
Pictures
1. the food I talked about
2. SECTOR!
3. kids playing with a homade kite made from super weak plastic bags and sticks, this is super humbling to see
4. A house in sector, its actuazlly a pretty nice one

Week 10 - September 16, 2019 "Gethsemane"

I found a quote from Elder Holland that I just absolutely love. It says, "Joseph (Smith) was not greater and neither are we. And when we promise to follow in His footsteps and be His disciples, we are promising to go where that divine path leads us. And the path of salvation has always led one way or another through Gethsemane." This is from his talk "Lessons From Liberty jail." 

This week was pretty tough again. I just couldn't get 2 years out of my head and also I just was feeling the stress of mission life. I'm still not used to first, being in Africa, everything is still just so different. I also don't have my schedule down yet. It's super overwhelming when I think about doing everything that's required; daily study and sector, trying to squeeze in time to make my food and exercise for a bit, practicing the  piano for the ward and then washing my clothes -which takes forever. I try to do a little every day but am learning a new language and then other little things that pop up in between... Its a lot and it can be super stressful! Sometimes I have to skip out on a couple things to get the others done and I just don't like that. 

On Wednesday I was sitting by myself during personal study and I was reading some talks I have brought with me. As I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself, which I know is not the right thing to do, I actually started to cry, then I had a thought pop into my head and it was that everything that I'm going through is to humble me and also put me at the level of others who are really struggling out there. When I put things in that perspective it makes the very hard things I'm going through sweet, it made me happier. 

Now, back to the Elder Holland quote, all I want to do right now is follow Jesus Christ. I don't want to sound self righteous but that is literally all I want to do, hence I am in my own Gethsemane right now. I have definitely never felt this way before and it's hard. BUT, the key word in that quote is "through." Because of Jesus Christ and Gods plan, we are not stuck in our sorrow and sadness. I know I'm not stuck like this and soon I will exit Gethsemane. Soon I will be able to use these experiences I'm having to help someone out. And that will be a glorious day. I'm trying to force myself to love this place and slowly it's coming. I dance to songs that I don't think are very good right now hoping I will just train myself to love them, I eat the food that doesn't always look that good, I force myself to talk to the people who I don't want to, because last time I talked to them they told me they couldn't understand me. I'm just hoping that the whole "fake it till you make it" saying is true! 

Now if your'e wondering about the food, for the most part it isn't bad, but then you get the occasional chicken foot, pig snout or bush meat that nobody knows what animal it actually is and that stuff is just gross. Sometimes I like eating in the dark better because I cant see what I'm eating. This week I will have completed my first month in the field and as hard as it has been my eyes have been opened to a completely different world and my heart has been changed. For example, the other day we were teaching a lesson in a house and as we were teaching the lesson, I could see the father of the home in the other room beating his son, he beat him until the boy stopped crying. My heart was broken but it made my appreciation for my family and my parents even greater than it was before. I went home that night and just thanked Heavenly Father for the place and family that I come from. As hard as it is to wake up every morning and find motivation for another day, it's an honor to be serving a mission right now. I can't explain how humbling it is to see my name next to Jesus Christ. I love Him, like I never have before. Thank you all for your love and prayers, I feel it all the way over here in Africa!

Love,

Elder Freedman

Andrew and Elder Ayinde bought traditional Muslim robes

Andrew has a hard time getting his stick because Elder Ayinde loves it so much! Future BYU lacrosse player. He's actually getting it down.

Like $.60 of fruit

Week 9 - September 9, 2019

Last monday I left the cyber just super motivated and excited to get to work and then I got back to the apartment, went to take a shower and the water was turned off. That put a damper on that night BUT it’s ok, I just boiled a bucket of water mixed it with some cold water and had a nice luke warm bucket shower! I’m learning to get creative with these kind of things. hahahah. 

But for real this week was actually so much better! Some pretty exciting things happened! Prayers were defiinitly answered. First the most exciting, I taught an entire lesson in french by myself! It honestly blows my mind even thinking about this. Backstory, so we had decided I was going to teach Lesson 3, The Gospel of Jesus Christ, so for companionship study we did some role plays. As we practiced doing role plays I couldn't even say anything.  I sat there like uhhhhhhhh, so we need to repent and be baptised. It was ROUGH! But time ran out and we had to go to our appointment so I was pretty much just done for... Or at least I thought. As we entered the house my companion pushed me in front of him and I knew I just had to send it. So I just started asking this sister about her family and how she was doing. The classic way to start a lesson. Then, I just started going and once I started I just didn't stop. I taught the entire thing. She understood everything I said and I understood her questions and I was able to answer all of them. All my companion had to do was share his testimony. It was the craziest thing ever I literally don't know how I did it. But that is where God comes in to place, it wasnt my french I was saying it was Gods. As we walked out Elder Ayinde went crazy, all I could think to do was look up and say thank you. It was not me talking during that lesson I was just being as an instrument. As I looked up and said thank you I felt the spirit so strong just comforting me. It was unforgettable and an undeniable witness of the spirit. 

Another answer to prayer, sunday morning I prayed to be able to help the ward in some way because I don’t understand anything they say and I don't just want to be an elder that just comes and goes without doing anything. Anyway, after church we were just walking around and 2 people came up to us and told us how bummed they were no one in the ward could play piano and that the piano was just sitting stored away in the bishops office. I got so excited and said I can play!  It blows my mind how quick my prayer was answered. I guess I need to give the credit to my mom who kept me going all of these years. It’s a portable piano so they might let me take it to the apartment which I’m super excited about! 

We also got invited to go to a members wedding so I got to go to a traditional African wedding. It was in the cultural hall of the chapel and it was just decked out with colorful fabrics and stuff. Everyone had matching traditional clothes on and people preformed lots of traditional dances. I was actaully kinda scarred by the dances because all the old ladies in the ward started doing these traditional dances that consisted on lots of hip and leg and butt movements and I was just like sheesh sister you gotta stop that. hahahah But I think another thing that made this week as good as it was, was I tried to be way more proactive in how I learned French and also learning the gospel. I think that because I was just engaged in trying to better myself that time passed quicker and I felt like I had more purpose here. I feel like my faith is at level 1000 right now. They're so many scriptures that talk about how after our faith is tested then we will recieve our witness. I truly believe this and I feel like I'm still being broken but I know it'll get better. Like the scriptures say to those that lose their life they will find it. I know that this is true. I know because I have so many good examples that have served missions before and I can look to them to see that this is true. I still miss home every day and it’s hard but I feel like I have finally started to love this place and the people a little more. 

Since I’m a missionary I want to leave a invitation, as I think about things that I could have done better at home a lot and one thing I wish I would’ve done different is not wasted as much time on my phone. They're are such better things we can do with our time and I feel like if I spent my time better being creative and having fun in other ways than being on my phone, it would help me now to be creative and make any situation fun. 

I can’t thank you all enough for your prayers for me and your kind emails. I sit in the cyber and cry because I feel all of your love. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

I love you all so much and I'm praying for all of you every day,

Elder Freedman

Elder Freedman and Elder Ayinde

Andrew's Sector

Future BYU Lacrosse Player - Elder Ayinde

Andrew's duct tape targets. He plays wallball in the apartment.

 Brother Bonebo (Ward Mission Leader) and Elder Sandberg

 New Mosque Construction

Week 8 - September 2, 2019

Week 2! I'm finally starting to get the keyboard which is nice! This week has been a roller coaster of emotions. It was better than last week but still super hard. Every hour of every day is a roller coaster of emotions. One second I'll be feeling pretty good about the mission and another I get kinda homesick again. I've realized that when I think about the future that's what kills me, but if I just focus on that day and what I need to accomplish that specific day and that moment I feel better. It's still hard for me to accept Africa and the fact i'll be here for 2 years but little by little I know i'll come to love it. French is still really tough for me and I think this week was the hardest yet language wise. Up to this point being in the MTC and also just being on the mission for only a bit of time I felt like I had an excuse to not be the best french speaker but now I just am anxious to be able to speak and it's getting really boring in lessons when I just have no idea of what's going on. I know I won't learn the language instantly, it takes time but I just want to be able to speak and also feel like i'm making some progress. Sometimes it's so boring I actually fall asleep and I swear every time right as I am closing my eyes my companion looks at me to say something and so I just have to spit something out. I end up bearing my testimony on something totally unrelated to the stuff my companion was teaching about because I had been falling asleep the whole time. As far as the hard things go I honestly really believe it will get better but it's just hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel right now. It just kinda feels like i'm a puppy dog being dragged around on a leash. As for some good parts of this week... We got like 6 people to accept baptism invitations which was exciting! I can extend the baptismal invitation so my companion always lets me invite people and that's always fun and rewarding. Of course no washing machine here so I got to try to wash clothes in a bucket. If i'm being honest I've looked forward to have this experience but its not fun. I'd much rather have a washing machine now haha. My clothes like don't even get clean I put them on and hold my breath because sometimes they just smell awful, then I walk outside and the horrible smell from outside covers up my stink which makes it better. Kinda cool experience I had this week was I had been praying to be able to feel angels helping me and as we were walking one day I just felt my legs just going. It was so interesting they were just moving so fast and stuff and I like didn't feel like I was even trying to walk. Hard to explain but I know somebody was helping me it was super cool. Today I went to Burger King for another Elders birthday. It has been so weird because he invited us on Wednesday to go with him to celebrate an so since Wednesday I have been looking forward to going to Burger King. How ridiculous is that hahaha. It was so good though felt like I was at home for a little bit. 

Every day is still a battle. Hanging onto my faith and just looking to God and Christ for help always. I know it'll get better I really do!

Elder Freedman