Elder Andrew Freedman Cote d'Ivoire Abidjan West Mission: Week 10

I found a quote from Elder Holland that I just absolutely love. It says, "Joseph (Smith) was not greater and neither are we. And when we promise to follow in His footsteps and be His disciples, we are promising to go where that divine path leads us. And the path of salvation has always led one way or another through Gethsemane." This is from his talk "Lessons From Liberty jail."

This week was pretty tough again. I just couldn't get 2 years out of my head and also I just was feeling the stress of mission life. I'm still not used to first, being in Africa, everything is still just so different. I also don't have my schedule down yet. It's super overwhelming when I think about doing everything that's required; daily study and sector, trying to squeeze in time to make my food and exercise for a bit, practicing the piano for the ward and then washing my clothes -which takes forever. I try to do a little every day but am learning a new language and then other little things that pop up in between... Its a lot and it can be super stressful! Sometimes I have to skip out on a couple things to get the others done and I just don't like that.

On Wednesday I was sitting by myself during personal study and I was reading some talks I have brought with me. As I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself, which I know is not the right thing to do, I actually started to cry, then I had a thought pop into my head and it was that everything that I'm going through is to humble me and also put me at the level of others who are really struggling out there. When I put things in that perspective it makes the very hard things I'm going through sweet, it made me happier.

Now, back to the Elder Holland quote, all I want to do right now is follow Jesus Christ. I don't want to sound self righteous but that is literally all I want to do, hence I am in my own Gethsemane right now. I have definitely never felt this way before and it's hard. BUT, the key word in that quote is "through." Because of Jesus Christ and Gods plan, we are not stuck in our sorrow and sadness. I know I'm not stuck like this and soon I will exit Gethsemane. Soon I will be able to use these experiences I'm having to help someone out. And that will be a glorious day. I'm trying to force myself to love this place and slowly it's coming. I dance to songs that I don't think are very good right now hoping I will just train myself to love them, I eat the food that doesn't always look that good, I force myself to talk to the people who I don't want to, because last time I talked to them they told me they couldn't understand me. I'm just hoping that the whole "fake it till you make it" saying is true!

Now if your'e wondering about the food, for the most part it isn't bad, but then you get the occasional chicken foot, pig snout or bush meat that nobody knows what animal it actually is and that stuff is just gross. Sometimes I like eating in the dark better because I cant see what I'm eating. This week I will have completed my first month in the field and as hard as it has been my eyes have been opened to a completely different world and my heart has been changed. For example, the other day we were teaching a lesson in a house and as we were teaching the lesson, I could see the father of the home in the other room beating his son, he beat him until the boy stopped crying. My heart was broken but it made my appreciation for my family and my parents even greater than it was before. I went home that night and just thanked Heavenly Father for the place and family that I come from. As hard as it is to wake up every morning and find motivation for another day, it's an honor to be serving a mission right now. I can't explain how humbling it is to see my name next to Jesus Christ. I love Him, like I never have before. Thank you all for your love and prayers, I feel it all the way over here in Africa!

Love,

Elder Freedman